by antiochethereal » Mon Mar 25, 2024 8:06 am
TL;DR : From porn mags and awkwardness to extremely nasty stuff and not giving a shit. If I could choose one fetish of the ones I have been through, I would ultimately choose big boobs. Big ass is a very close second. Not BBW big butt, but big booty nonetheless.
I think my journey was fairly normal. From before the internet, I kind of scrounged what I could find in my surroundings. I made a sad little rucksack under my bed with printed out stuff, videoes and similar items.
Then came the awkward standing around the porn mag section on gas stations and in stores, and trying to man up to slam one on the counter. My late grand father actually bought the first magazine for me :-D my first porn video was with big black booties and was rented by my aunt :-P VERY cringe-inducing era. Still get knots in my stomach when I think about that time.
Then came the internet, and my tastes grew from big boobs and butts to ditto mixed with hard anal, 3D bestiality and some other weird stuff. Hard anal because it is taboo and women in general don't like it and I like those pained facial expressions. 3D Bestiality because I started modding a game called Skyrim in 2014/2015 and for some reason they made so many lewd mods for that game, that everything had to have a penis and tits in the end. For unknown reasons to me, the horse penis is fascinating somehow, maybe it is because it wrecks everything it comes across and is huge in general. It's hard to explain, it's like I like small holes getting wrecked by big poles, and loving big asses on thick ebony women personally fx. all other dicks are just too small and it looks like they are "throwing brooms into the gym", as a saying goes here.
So from barely seeing tits and ass before the internet to enjoying 3D bestiality, titfucking (Rachel Aldana, Maserati XXX + Abbi Secraa sized tits and bodies) and hard anal.
I also dove into 3d lolis (underage girls made with 3D programmes; I can't stress enough that it is in the 3D space) but seeing to as its shunned and I don't really care that much for it, I stopped doing that. It's not worth the trouble and people seem to be unable to differentiate between fantasy (3D renders) and reality. Which is pretty ironic if you think about the fact that the church and Hollywood practically get a free pass with REAL and psychologically damaging pedophilia. Muslims practically have pedophilia written into the Quran as acceptable; rape too, whereas everybody else gets dunked on and completely annihilated^_^ but again, I think the loli stuff comes from the small holes big poles concept. So I just made the horses and monsters I use bigger compared to the women and voilá same shit.
Never got into 90% of the stuff here though. The food fetish and piss in particular, DAP, TAP is just stupid to me, and the whole logistics problem that comes from all of the goons barely being able to move around the room takes me out of it entirely.
Rape has also filled up a lot of my time and my renders often focus on non-consensual stuff. I have soulsearched for a long time regarding why that is, and I have come to the conclusion that it is because I have had some violence in my family. Not personally and noone hurt me in particular, but my life got all but wrecked by an ex-girlfriend who claimed to have been raped (she was a psycho- or sociopath, even her family wanted nothing to do with her; but I found out too late). Since my ex came and went like a fucking tornado, wet and wild initially and then taking the house and car with her when she left; I have not hated women outright, but I do see them as living fleshlights now and nothing more - I seek no closeness whatsoever and am only attracted to the bodies attached to them. In private. In public it's just putting on a facade and try to make it through the boring chit chat. Rape is nasty stuff and I only look at it in 3D. I don't seek out real rape, because I honestly don't want to see it. I think the fascination with it comes from the fact that we are all, in some way, raped. We don't have any true freedom; you can't just decide tomorrow that you don't want to pay your bills or go away to some forest and set up shop there; because at some point someone will come calling, because the whole world was divvied up between those who came before us, and we can just either adapt to how they think we should live life or die. Work, eat, sleep, repeat; make money for the wealthy and powerful, growing ever poorer. We are in a big prison here on earth, and now as we can see, are left to the devices of psychopaths with too much power (trump/putin/elon is the trifecta of idiocy and psychopathy to me at the moment). I am pretty sure I vent that frustration with, among other venues, images of rape, bondage, pacification, mind control and indoctrination, drawing parallels to existence here on the planet itself.
I am not saying that I am not a pervert and rationalising everything away with perceived logic, because I am a pervert, and will always be. BUT if I had to choose one thing to take with me and that will always have a place in my heart, it would be boobs, most definitely. The other fetishes are mostly kind of off-branching from that one fetish of giant tits, and mixing it in with the others. Especially a huge horse phallus in between soft silky boobs is just delicious to watch :-P
https://www.deviantart.com/goohero